Why are frogs so happy?        Because they eat whatever bugs them!

Why did the donut go to the dentist?        To get a filling.

Why did the cookie go the hospital?        If felt crummy.

What is a vampire's favorite holiday?        Fangs- giving.

Where do you take a sick pony?        To the horse-pital!

Why did the penguin think something was wrong?        It smelled fishy.

What did the ground say to the earthquake?        You crack me up!

Why is 6 afraid of 7?        Because 7 8 9

Why do vampires use mouth wash?        Because they have bat breath.

Why didn't the teddy bear eat dessert?        He was stuffed!

Where did the cheeseburger go dancing?        At the meat-ball!

What is as big as an elephant, but weighs nothing?        His shadow.

What can you catch, but not throw?        Your Breath

Where do fish sleep?        In  a water bed

How do you keep cool at a football game?  Stand next to a fan.

Who should you never play games with?        A cheetah

Why was the baby ant so confused?  Because all his uncles were ants.

What goes up & down, but doesn't move?        Stairs.

What is a cats favorite color?        Purr- ple.

What did the chicken say after laying 20 eggs?        I'm eggs-hausted.

What gets wetter the more it dries?        A towel.

How do you catch a squirrel?        Act like a nut.

What kind of dog doesn't have a tail?        A hotdog.

Why was the broom late?        It over swept.

How do elephants talk to each other?        by ele-phone

What did the stamp say to the envelope?        Stick with me & we'll go places.

What did the frog order at the diner?  A croak-a-cola

Where do horses live?        In neigh-borhoods.

Why couldn't the pirate play cards?        Because he was sitting on the deck.

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?        Because then it'd be a foot.

What did the horse say when he tripped?        I'm down & I can't giddyup.

Why do birds fly south?        Because it's too far to walk.

What do snakes do after a fight?  Hiss & make up.

Why did the twin witches where name tags?        So they could tell which witch was which.

What do ghosts have for dessert?        Ice Scream

What gets bigger, the more you take away from it?        A hole

What do pigs do on Friday night?        Have a pig-jama party!

What did the rug say to the floor?        I've got you covered.

Why did the pigs go to park?        For a pig-nic.

Why did the football coach go to the bank?    To get his quarterback.

What has 4 legs, but can't walk?        A table.

What did one elevator say to the other elevator?        I think I'm coming down with something.

What kind of button won't unbutton?        A belly button.

What do you call a sleepy?        A dino-snore

What did the ocean say to the boat?        Nothing.  It just waved.

What breaks when you say it?        Silence

What starts with P, ends with E, and has a million letters in it?         Post officE.

What are two things you can't have for breakfast?        Lunch & dinner.

What kind of shoes do all spies wear?        Sneak-ers.

What did one wall say to the other wall?        I'll meet you at the corner.

How do baseball players stay cool?        They sit next to their fans.

Why was the math book sad?        Because it had so many problems.

What goes up & down but doesn't move?        The temperature.

What kind of birthday did the tree have?       A sappy one.

Why do dogs sit in the shade?          Because they don't want to be hot dogs.

What do you call a snail on a ship?          A snailor

Knock knock.  Who's there? Doris.  Doris who?  Doris (The door is) open, come on in.

How do you catch a unique bunny?       Unique (you sneak) up on it.

Why did the apple kiss the banana?           Because it had a-peel.

Why did the melon jump in the ocean?          It wanted to be a WATERmelon

When you SEE someone sneeze, but can't HEAR it, what do you call it?           Shhhhh-neeze

Where do sheep go for a haircut?          The baa baa shop.

Why did the cookie go to the doctor?           He felt crumby.

Why did the chicken cross the playground?          To get to the other slide

What do you call a pig that knows karate?           A pork chop

Why do bees have sticky hair?          Because they use honeycombs.

Why was the man running around his bed?          He wanted to catch up on his sleep.

What does a robot frog say?           Rib-bot.

What does a snail say when it's riding on a turtle's back?          Weeee!

How did the barber win the race?           He knew a short cut.

What is brown & sticky?           A stick

Where do cows go on Friday night?           To the mooovie theater.

Where did the king keep his armies?            In his sleevies.

Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?          Because it's two tired.

Where do books like to sleep?           Under their covers

Where do snowmen keep their money?          In snow banks

What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?          Frosted Flakes

What do you call a snowman's kids?           Chill-dren

Why do you have to go to bed at night?          Because the bed won't go to you.

What did the lamb do for his birthday?            He had a sheep over party.

Why are basketball players sloppy eaters?          Because they always dribble.

What has more lives than a cat?            A frog- it croaks every night.

What 5 letter word gets shorter when you add 2 letters to it?           Short.
"I like nonsense. It awakens brain cells."
Laughing is good for you!  Spread some good health by printing these silly jokes.  Cut into strips & tuck into
lunch boxes, etc.  Or make a container of joke strips for kids to draw from when they need a smile.
Kid Jokes